The Mom Mindset I Had to Acquire to Help Heal My Sons of Autism

by Andrea Anderson on June 18, 2013

Starfish_Pinkish

*Excerpt from my upcoming book.

For a very, very long time, I functioned from a place of the Supermom Mindset. I tried to do everything in my power to help my kids be happy and live a comfortable life. I drove them from activity to activity, set up play-dates, found the best-fit schools for them, volunteered at school whenever possible, cooked, baked and planned ahead for all outings by bringing snacks, drinks and activities to keep everyone content. I stayed up until midnight making nice lunches, filling out school forms, and getting organized for each day. My life was all about my kids.

Once it came to my attention that my kids were on the spectrum, I then somehow put it into high gear (as if I wasn’t doing this already) and began to do even more for my kids.  My to do list included visiting holistic doctors, administering holistic therapies and physical therapies, reading, researching, making special food to bring everywhere (once I learned my kids had allergies.) I was going 180 miles an hour; my goal was to be a good mom and do what was best for my kids.  Or so I thought.

I had every symptom of the Supermom Mindset:

-Thinks of her kids first

-Rarely thinks of herself, feels guilty if she does

-Spends little to zero time with her husband, or friends

-Tries to fix everything

-Overcommits because she tries to make everyone happy

-Has a difficult time saying no

-Gets angry at herself if she yells at her child

So many women have this mindset. As a matter of fact, it’s the norm. If this is you, don’t feel bad. Society has promoted this mindset. For hundreds of years women were taught to dutifully follow the “good woman or good wife mindset” or the Supermom Mindset.

Think back to the Pilgrims, the first English settlers in the U.S. They weren’t exactly a fun bunch of high-spirited do-for-yourself-draw-the-line-say-no-and-let-go-of-guilt sort of women. They were the opposite. They worked hard and committed themselves to do what they thought of as the noble thing: thinking of their family first. They only thought of their family and rarely themselves.

From a positive standpoint, this mindset has allowed you to help your child to a large degree. It’s gotten you this far. It’s helped to keep you motivated, disciplined, and on track with doing so much that’s already made an enormous difference in your child’s life. But if you’re interested in taking the steps to enhance their progress, you’ll want to get intimately familiar with a new mindset, one that helps you to do more for your child and make greater progress than what you’ve reached so far.

Even though the Supermom Mindset has been helpful, it’s also held you back in some ways. Looking more closely at the Supermom Mindset, you’ll notice it will have you running around in circles, filling your schedule with a million to-dos for the family. You can feel like you have little to no time to be with friends let alone be with your husband or yourself. Life feels hectic and overwhelming at times. You find yourself crying at times because you feel like your family doesn’t fully respect you or think of your needs and concerns — it feels like everyone takes you for granted.

Because it’s a rarity that you spend time with your spouse, your relationship suffers — how can something grow if you don’t take care of it?!

Since you’re so busy taking care of everyone else, especially your kids, your health starts to wane, if you’re not taking care of yourself, your health can remain strong for only so long before it catches up with you.

You gain weight. Instead of speaking up for yourself and telling your family and others how you really feel and what you really want, you try to make everyone else happy. Without even realizing it, you then end up reaching for a bag of chips, cookies, crackers whatever, to appease this sad, unheard, ignored side of you.  Food is turned to for comfort.  But the comfort is short-lived and guilt kicks in. You then berate yourself for eating too much! This guilt only compounds your craving for specific foods.

Does any of this sound familiar? Having a Supermom Mindset can lead to any and all of these symptoms. (Take it from me, I LIVED ALL OF THEM!!)

While being a supermom seems wonderful on the outside, on the inside, when you peel the layers away, you see just how unhealthy it can be. Nobody is truly served as well as they could be when you follow the Supermom Mindset, it only appears that way at first glance. To the outside world you look like a terrific mom, but at home, alone with your family, you feel like crap!

When it comes to healing your child, the Supermom Mindset will only take you so far. If you’re interested in clearing your child of their ASD and consequently improving the quality of your life as well, you’ll want to pay close attention to the HELP Heal Mindset. It’s the mindset I had to step into in order to make things really happen.

HELP Heal Mindset

What is the H.E.L.P. Heal Mindset — it’s a way of thinking that allows you to upgrade your child’s quality of life. It’s an integral component of clearing your child of ADHD or autism, or whatever ASD they may have.

You’ll want to pay attention to this, because the HELP Heal Mindset makes all the difference in the level of healing you achieve regardless of the approach you decide to follow. I want to place emphasis on this point:  If you follow the 7 RESTORE Keys I share in this book or you follow a specific doctor’s approach or an approach you researched on your own, you will find if you integrate this mindset into whatever approach you choose to implement, you will get farther-, much farther. This HELP Heal Mindset is integral to clearing your child of ASDs. Integral!  I just can’t say that enough.

Acquiring the HELP Heal Mindset was pivotal in healing my sons!

The word HELP, in the HELP Heal Mindset– is an acronym –

H- Honor your feelings

E- Everything happens for a reason

L- Learn from your children

P- Prioritize YOU, heal yourself too!

So.  The deal is this HELP heal mindset will make ALL the difference in the world when it comes to improving your child’s behavior, helping them focus, listen, be calmer, decrease anxiety and on and on…  Even the more severe behaviors symptoms can decrease.

For now, start with noticing how often you live in this Supermom mode of thinking.  Catch yourself.  Notice.  Don’t criticize, just notice.  Then take small steps to do less, for everyone else and begin to slowly increase what you do for you.  May sound hard.  It is.  Especially if you’ve only functioned as a Supermom.  But, YOU CAN DO IT!  How do I know?  I’m doing it and I’m a converted Supermom myself.

My book will be available July 2, and it shares in more depth the HELP Heal Mindset and how you can put it into practice in your life so your child and you really benefit!

In the meantime, just breathe and notice yourself sista.  Making changes always starts with awareness of where you’re really at now!

Blessings!

Andrea!

PS  If you want to get a jumpstart on helping improve your child’s ADHD or autism NOW- I have a free audio that can get you started.  It shares the 3 integral steps I followed to start the process for healing my sons of autism.  It’s yours now, if you feel so inclined- click here to get it!

PPS Tell us what you notice about yourself- have you tried stepping out of Supermom mode- tell us what has worked- would love to hear!!  Share below!

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