For Moms Who Are “Doers”, Strivers, Accomplishers…

by Andrea Anderson on April 24, 2018

So often I’ve found myself working toward something.

When things were at their worst for my sons, I was working toward moving past the crap they were experiencing (and I was too!)

As things improved, I felt better, however my focus stayed on what else I could do to help them.

Good, right?

Well, not exactly.

Great I had a sense there was MORE for them.

Great, I kept going.

Moving forward.

Sorting out our next step.

Trying something new.

A new way to think.

New supplements.

A new healing approach.

Letting go of sabotaging habits and thinking…

However, I forgot something along the way.

I forgot that These are the Good Ol’ Days.

Right now, is a time that will never be again.

Yesterday is a time that will never be again.

5 years ago is a time that will never be again.

A minute ago, will never be again.

When my younger son was going to physical therapy at age 2 1/2 to help him learn to walk, it didn’t feel like the good ol’ days.

As a matter of fact, I had a baby calendar up on a bulletin board.

The type of calendar that helps you to keep track of your child’s milestones.  The progress they make each month.

When they first walk, talk, etc…

I took mine down.

I didn’t want to think about how far “off” my child seemed.

I had to focus on helping him.

Helping them.

And, I certainly wasn’t celebrating that time in my life as being the good ol days.

On the contrary, to say the least.

Around the age of 2 1/2 years, my son, instead of walking, would skooch around.

It was a way of moving around for him.

See, he neither walked yet, nor crawled. Instead he skooched on his butt, using his hands and feet to push him forward.

I’ve noticed other kids on the spectrum doing this as well, by the way.

It’s movement their body uses to compensate for the toxins/metals that are blocking the regular brain pathways that would have them crawling and walking in a typical fashion.

Anyhow, at the time when my son skooched, I sometimes felt bad, especially in the presence of normally progressing toddlers.  I felt like somehow he wasn’t measuring up to what he “should be doing”.

However NOW, when I think back to that time, I think of my son skooching and it brings a smile to my face.

I light up.

And, I feel warm and comfortable inside.

I LOVE that he skooched.

I feel ok with it.

Maybe it’s because he and his brother are doing well now, so, it’s easier to feel good.

Or maybe it’s because I’ve learned how to appreciate them more.

Or maybe, it’s my ability to zoom out from a situation and see it from afar, instead of being caught up in the chaos of it. (Ok, mostly able to do this anyway, wink, wink!)

All of these skills I’ve acquired from being a mom of kids on the spectrum, so, um, thank you to my boys. Big Time!

Anyhow, circling back to my story.

Time creates enough space between you and what you struggled with in the past, to really show you, what you struggled with, was never as big of a problem as you thought it was.

These are your GOOD Ol’ Days.

Right now.

Right now, I feel ok with my sons’ past.

And, it’s because all the shit I thought was a BIG ISSUE back then wasn’t such a big issue at all.

I made them all issues, by treating them like issues.

Thinking about them like they were issues.

Problems to be solved.

Boys to be fixed.

What if I just helped them move forward, but, relaxed and enjoyed them too?

I eventually did this, but, it took time.

And, now, I still forget at times that I don’t always need to be working toward something.

I can just be here.

Right now, seeing what’s pretty damn cool about my life.

About my boys.

About my husband.

About all of it.

These are my good ol’ days.

My sons turned me onto a song that reminded me of all of this.

I now find myself playing it often.  Sometimes over and over.

I do that with songs I like.

Play them over and over.

I suppose I don’t want those good thoughts and feelings to end.

If you want, sit back, close your eyes and have a listen. Who knows, you may even find yourself dancing.

Either way, I welcome you to find inspiration in enjoying your son or daughter, right now, no matter what they’re in the midst of, because someday, you’ll wish you enjoyed them more.

Someday, you’ll see more clearly, they are already OK.

Here’s to feeling that “ok-ness” NOW!

Blessings my soft-hearted, warrior moms!

xo,

Andrea

And, here’s that song!

Good Ol’ Days- Kesha + Macklemore

PS  If you want help feeling more “ok” with where you’re kid is at now, while taking peaceful steps to help them keep clearing from their symptoms, I have a book that may help. Grab a copy here. Or, download the first 2 chapters for free.

#KidsDoingWell

#ADHDandAutismIsReversible

#GetYourLifeBack

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Previous post:

Next post: