A Message From My Son

by Andrea Anderson on May 3, 2017

13 years ago I found myself riding in the car alongside my sister. We were on the way to the hospital. My body was preparing to deliver my second son.

As we drove, we listened to music. And, fortunate for me, my contractions were tolerable enough I could still sing.

Most of the conversation and music we listened to on that drive has since been long forgotten.

However, there was that one song.

The one song my sister turned the volume up on the radio for.
The one song we both sang to- with excitement and passion. The way most of us do when we hear something on the radio that really strikes a cord with us, for one reason or another.

At the time, I didn’t connect “a reason” to enjoying that song with my sister, other then, wow, what a fun moment.

And, I now say this hesitantly, but with openness and vulnerability- I more clearly understand during that time I took pride in being in labor and still being able to sing a song with my sister.

Fast forward. My second son is 7 1/2 months old and has begun to shake his head rapidly and roll his eyeballs to the back of his head. I want to throw-up every time I see him do this. Something feels “off”. I soon uncover he’s showing early signs of autism.
(FYI: He’s now cleared of autism, but that’s another story…)

Through the years, I spent focused time and energy researching and learning and applying all kinds of holistic treatments, techniques, food and vitamins to heal him (and his brother as well).

I didn’t fully realize it at the time, but I constantly carried with me the underlying thought of, I need (and want) to do and do and do MORE to help my sons.

And, within that thought, also laid the seed of martyrdom. It was so faint. Most who looked wouldn’t see it. But, I felt it. And, at the time, acknowledged it as something good.

After all…
Look at how much I could handle.
Look at how much I’m willing to struggle to make sure they’re ok!

Now, I see this differently. Now I understand this differently.

Struggling and martyrdom win no honors in my book any longer.

As a matter of fact, they actually deliver quite the opposite.
Being attached to martyrdom or honoring struggle is an invitation for more struggle and more circumstances to feel like a frickin’ martyr.

Fini with that approach.

For those of you familiar with Abraham Hicks or Law of Attraction, you’ll understand that where we put our energy and feelings will determine what we attract and create in our lives. WE create it ALL.
Yes. ALL of it.

Sometimes we’re happy to hear WE have complete control of our lives. Yet, often we don’t want to take responsibility for the creation of things in our lives we DON’T like.

Like being a parent of two boys who were on the autism spectrum. WTF??!! Why would I create that?

Well, I didn’t sit down one day and say, “Gee, I’d really like to be the parent of kids with autism.” Heck no.

However, what I did do was positively reinforce myself for struggling. I thought the more I did, the harder I worked, or the more I worked through a tough situation, I was a GOOD person.

So Law of Attraction matched me with a perfect situation to struggle some more. To work hard. To be the underdog- we’re talking two sons affected, not just one. So, underdog I felt like indeed. And persevere I would do for sure. I would be at my best. Do ALL that I could.

And, oh yeah, alongside working my tail off to heal my sons, I felt sorry for myself quite a bit along the way. Of course, I didn’t like to show this side of myself to the world. I had to be strong and positive. The way a good martyr would. The way a “good” person would.

I created my reality.
I created having two sons on the spectrum.

Many of the steps I took along the way were helpful.

But, I realized I needed to let go of being attached (inadvertently) to being sacrificial and tied to struggle. This thinking needed to go.

It was time to let go of this fine thread of martyrdom. Passed down from generation to generation. Honored and revered in our society.

It was time to create a new reality for my boys.
A reality I liked better. One where they Thrive. And I Thrive. Where my whole family Thrives.
A reality where I finally allow my life to be FUN and EASY.

That’s what I’m in the midst of creating right now.

It’s taken a wake up call from my sons.
I think of it as just one of the areas they’ve helped me to expand and evolve.

This is a missing piece to the puzzle.
The autism puzzle.
The ADD puzzle.
The ADHD puzzle.
The Anxiety puzzle.

Yup. There are other pieces to the puzzle, but this is the often overlooked, never mentioned area of focus that will have a GIANT impact on helping your child or teen if they need it.

I acknowledge that I created this situation with my sons.
And, I acknowledge that we’ve moved on and continue to expand and move more and more into fun, freedom and ease.

My thinking and energy is now deliberately focused on ease.

And hence, I’ve begun to create more of this.

So, about that one song.
The song my sister and I sang on the way to the hospital.

If you listen closely,
Maybe even read between the lines
and “feel” the underlying thread…

It’s about struggle.
And, our children helping us to awaken to the need to STOP this attachment to struggle.
And, find a new, better way of thinking and living.

Thank you birthday boy.
Happy 13 years of life.

That song you had me sing just 2 1/2 hours before you were born. Well, it was your beautiful message to me (and the world) of all that you would be willing to expose me to, should I be willing to notice and grow from the experience.

Got it.
Message understood.
And now, the continued transformation to easeful living.

Thank you.

I invite you to close your eyes and have a listen, if you’d like.

Blessings + Rock on,


PS  If you “get” where I’m coming from, then perhaps you’ll dig learning additional holistic ways to help improve your kid/teens ADD, anxiety, ADHD or autism, here’s a Freebie audio for you.


Previous post:

Next post: