Whipcream

I just ate a plate of whip cream.  It was good!  Creamy + sweet…mm, mm….

What’s so cool about this?

That I allowed myself to follow through on a DESIRE I had.  I could have told myself NO.  Not healthy.

I could have told myself, this isn’t a good idea, you haven’t eaten dinner yet + besides do you really need a plate of whip cream Andrea?

The answer to that is NO.  I didn’t need a plate of whip cream- I just felt like a plate of whip cream would be fun + delicious.

After eating this plate of whip cream I felt full and satisfied.  I listened to my desire and I was therefore appeased.

My interactions with my family were calm + comfortable as a result.  I felt happy.  Happy to follow through with something I wanted.

This feeling of satisfaction and comfortableness then creates an energy in your life that begins to permeate your family life + affects your kids- eventually affecting their wellbeing too.

Denying yourself things + experiences you desire leads to crankiness, even anger + resentment.  This we all know doesn’t feel so good, for us or our kids.

If you want something different and better for yourself + your kids for 2015 start with identifying your DESIRES- your TRUE desires.

Not what you think you should have or should do, but start with how do you want to feel?  

Happy.  Free.  Relaxed.  Connected.  Content with yourself.  Content with your life. Content with your kids.

Once you become clear how you want to feel for 2015, then think about 3-5 things you truly desire to experience in 2015 and list these as your 2015 intentions.

My family + I will be sitting down over the next couple of days and will be talking about what went well for 2014 + then writing down how we want to feel + what we desire for ourselves for 2015.

To aid the process of  creating new + refreshed circumstances in your life, setting intentions- writing them down, speaking them out loud- both of these steps really help.

What is it you DESIRE for 2015?

When you make your desires a priority in your life, instead of a guilty pleasure, you begin to create a ripple effect of powerful change in you + your family’s life.  

Go for it!  You and your family deserve the BEST!

Wishing you fun as you follow your DESIRES!

xo,

 

Andrea

PS  Want to know how else you can create more of what you really want for your kids, their wellbeing + yours too?  My book (if I do say so myself) contains some pretty cool ideas that I used to help heal my sons of autism spectrum disorders.

Click here if you want to check it out.

How Your Drive to Do More Doesn’t Always Help Your Kids

by Andrea Anderson on December 24, 2014

Mother and children on swingAs you’ve shopped for holiday gifts, prepared special holiday cookies and food and done a myriad of other things, have you noticed something?

Have you noticed yourself feeling nervous, maybe even having a little buzzing, tiny + subtle shaky feeling going on inside your body?

This is your body’s response to your thoughts.

Your thoughts- whether conscious or, often unconscious, usually go something like this:  If I don’t do this, make these cookies, bake this food, buy this gift or go shopping, make dinner, help my son, etc… I won’t be ok.

OR

They won’t be ok.

My kids won’t be ok if I don’t do this.  My husband will be upset.  My friends might be bothered if I skip this.  The man at the cashier might be annoyed, the waitress at the restaurant might be frustrated.

How many times have you been concerned what others might think or how they might feel?  Countless.

This nervous, even subtle shaking feeling you have is your body saying I can’t listen to this thought anymore.  I can’t listen to you telling me I won’t be ok if I don’t do the “right thing”.  And, if I don’t do the “right thing”, that somehow will mean I’m not a good person, good wife, good mom…. Therefore I’m bad.

This fear by the way is bull cr@p!

The fear of being seen as a bad person is driving you to do MORE- always.  It’s making you feel like you have to be busy to take care of EVERYTHING in order to be ok.  In order to help your kids, spouse, others.

Your fear is making you feel nervous + unhappy.

You are unhappy with this constant busy-ness.  Whether it’s the holidays or not, be honest with yourself, you’re always striving to cover all ends of everything and sometimes it feels like you do (cover everything)- but that feeling is only fleeting, cause’ there’s always more to do.  Always.

You pay for this way of thinking and living too.  Your key relationships can feel lonely and broken.  You wish you had more time to be with your kids + your kid with ADHD or autism- well without you realizing it, your energy of buzzing and subtle nervousness is affecting them.

No guilt here, but it isn’t serving them.

Your energy + thoughts impact your kids behaviors and symptoms.  You stress, this shows up for them in the form of various behaviors.  You subconsciously operating from the place of- “I’m bad if I don’t do all of this or get all of this done” is the same energy they carry when they don’t feel good enough and act out as a result. When they yell out, freak out or get angry- they’ve got stressed nervous energy and don’t know what to do with it.  When they become hyper, they’ve got stressed energy and don’t know what to do with it.

In this coming year and even starting right NOW if you’re game, notice how often you’re trying to do more.  Notice how you feel.

And then allow yourself to slow down.

Actually talk to yourself out loud or in your mind.  Tell yourself you’re ok if you don’t do everything.  Take 2-3 minutes and imagine your worse case scenario.  Imagine not having that thing done that you thought you needed done.  Imagine not making enough food for everyone.  Imagine your son not having the food he prefers to eat…. Imagine.  See the worst.  Go into your fear for a few minutes.  Then notice, even if your worse case scenario occurs- you’re still OK.  Life still moves forward and you + your kids are still ok.  Then when you feel slightly more settled move on.  Move on with your day.

However, when you move on, try to let go of your need to do that “thing” you were stressing over.  The more you can let go, slow down + relax- you do yourself a favor.

And, you do your kids a HUGE favor too.

See, you don’t always need super wholesome nutrition, the right vitamins + therapies for your kid to improve with their symptoms (it helps, but it’s not the answer).  You need to slow down + let go a little more.

This letting go energy affects them deeply + will show up in the form of calmer, more grounded kids.

Really.

Hey, happy holidays to + your family!

Here’s to a glass of a heavy dose of  doing nothing, to help yourself + your kids feel your best.

 

Blessings!

Andrea

PS  As you can see, my approach to helping moms improve their kids symptoms is a bit unconventional.  If you resonate with the idea of looking at yourself + taking personal actions + coupling that with applying strategies to directly help your kids too, well then my book could be a nice place for you to find more ideas for helping your kids.

Interested?  Check it out here.