A Message From My Son

by Andrea Anderson on May 3, 2017

13 years ago I found myself riding in the car alongside my sister. We were on the way to the hospital. My body was preparing to deliver my second son.

As we drove, we listened to music. And, fortunate for me, my contractions were tolerable enough I could still sing.

Most of the conversation and music we listened to on that drive has since been long forgotten.

However, there was that one song.

The one song my sister turned the volume up on the radio for.
The one song we both sang to- with excitement and passion. The way most of us do when we hear something on the radio that really strikes a cord with us, for one reason or another.

At the time, I didn’t connect “a reason” to enjoying that song with my sister, other then, wow, what a fun moment.

And, I now say this hesitantly, but with openness and vulnerability- I more clearly understand during that time I took pride in being in labor and still being able to sing a song with my sister.

Fast forward. My second son is 7 1/2 months old and has begun to shake his head rapidly and roll his eyeballs to the back of his head. I want to throw-up every time I see him do this. Something feels “off”. I soon uncover he’s showing early signs of autism.
(FYI: He’s now cleared of autism, but that’s another story…)

Through the years, I spent focused time and energy researching and learning and applying all kinds of holistic treatments, techniques, food and vitamins to heal him (and his brother as well).

I didn’t fully realize it at the time, but I constantly carried with me the underlying thought of, I need (and want) to do and do and do MORE to help my sons.

And, within that thought, also laid the seed of martyrdom. It was so faint. Most who looked wouldn’t see it. But, I felt it. And, at the time, acknowledged it as something good.

After all…
Look at how much I could handle.
Look at how much I’m willing to struggle to make sure they’re ok!

Now, I see this differently. Now I understand this differently.

Struggling and martyrdom win no honors in my book any longer.

As a matter of fact, they actually deliver quite the opposite.
Being attached to martyrdom or honoring struggle is an invitation for more struggle and more circumstances to feel like a frickin’ martyr.

Done.
Fini with that approach.

For those of you familiar with Abraham Hicks or Law of Attraction, you’ll understand that where we put our energy and feelings will determine what we attract and create in our lives. WE create it ALL.
Yes. ALL of it.

Sometimes we’re happy to hear WE have complete control of our lives. Yet, often we don’t want to take responsibility for the creation of things in our lives we DON’T like.

Like being a parent of two boys who were on the autism spectrum. WTF??!! Why would I create that?

Well, I didn’t sit down one day and say, “Gee, I’d really like to be the parent of kids with autism.” Heck no.

However, what I did do was positively reinforce myself for struggling. I thought the more I did, the harder I worked, or the more I worked through a tough situation, I was a GOOD person.

So Law of Attraction matched me with a perfect situation to struggle some more. To work hard. To be the underdog- we’re talking two sons affected, not just one. So, underdog I felt like indeed. And persevere I would do for sure. I would be at my best. Do ALL that I could.

And, oh yeah, alongside working my tail off to heal my sons, I felt sorry for myself quite a bit along the way. Of course, I didn’t like to show this side of myself to the world. I had to be strong and positive. The way a good martyr would. The way a “good” person would.

I created my reality.
I created having two sons on the spectrum.

Many of the steps I took along the way were helpful.

But, I realized I needed to let go of being attached (inadvertently) to being sacrificial and tied to struggle. This thinking needed to go.

It was time to let go of this fine thread of martyrdom. Passed down from generation to generation. Honored and revered in our society.

It was time to create a new reality for my boys.
A reality I liked better. One where they Thrive. And I Thrive. Where my whole family Thrives.
A reality where I finally allow my life to be FUN and EASY.

That’s what I’m in the midst of creating right now.

It’s taken a wake up call from my sons.
I think of it as just one of the areas they’ve helped me to expand and evolve.

This is a missing piece to the puzzle.
The autism puzzle.
The ADD puzzle.
The ADHD puzzle.
The Anxiety puzzle.

Yup. There are other pieces to the puzzle, but this is the often overlooked, never mentioned area of focus that will have a GIANT impact on helping your child or teen if they need it.

I acknowledge that I created this situation with my sons.
And, I acknowledge that we’ve moved on and continue to expand and move more and more into fun, freedom and ease.

My thinking and energy is now deliberately focused on ease.

And hence, I’ve begun to create more of this.
Hallelujah!!!

So, about that one song.
The song my sister and I sang on the way to the hospital.

If you listen closely,
Maybe even read between the lines
and “feel” the underlying thread…

It’s about struggle.
And, our children helping us to awaken to the need to STOP this attachment to struggle.
And, find a new, better way of thinking and living.

Thank you birthday boy.
Happy 13 years of life.

That song you had me sing just 2 1/2 hours before you were born. Well, it was your beautiful message to me (and the world) of all that you would be willing to expose me to, should I be willing to notice and grow from the experience.

Got it.
Message understood.
And now, the continued transformation to easeful living.

Thank you.

I invite you to close your eyes and have a listen, if you’d like.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjSpO2B6G4s

Blessings + Rock on,

Andrea

PS  If you “get” where I’m coming from, then perhaps you’ll dig learning additional holistic ways to help improve your kid/teens ADD, anxiety, ADHD or autism, here’s a Freebie audio for you.

 

I’m seeing lots of succulent plants lately, at restaurants, in stores…I felt drawn to them, and consequently, bought a couple. There’s something about these plants that I resonate with so strongly.

It dawned on me yesterday that I’m seeing these particular plants over and over for a reason. And that, right now in the US (and perhaps elsewhere) people are being drawn to these plants for a reason.

Here’s what I know:

These succulent plants can grow under practically ALL conditions. They need little water. They like sun, but seem to still thrive in your home, with little sun. They can be dug up out of the ground and transplanted into a little pot and without much tending to, they THRIVE in your home. Their leaves are robust, full of moisture and one might describe them (as I am here) as being very hearty and strong. Again, they are strong + healthy with very little attention.

It seems these plants can thrive unconditionally. I’ll say that again because that’s the key point regarding these plants. They can THRIVE unconditionally.

And this I sense is why we’re seeing an abundance of them right now.

For those who are parents- of a child or teen with ADD, an LD, ADHD, autism and those parents with “typical” kids, we are feeling and seeing this. The need, or actually a CALL within us to allow ourselves AND our kids to thrive under any and all conditions.

To not need our kids to act a certain way to feel good about them. To not judge ourselves as being “wrong or bad” for not helping our kids in a way we feel we “should” or “shouldn’t” have.

A call to accept ourselves and our kids as they are. As we are. Which means allowing ourselves to accept what we see in front of us right now. However, we’re showing up as parents, however, our kids are behaving, “funky” or calm. Frustrated or at peace.

Yes, we are being called to allow ourselves and our kids to thrive under all conditions. Just like those succulent plants. Those darn plants do that. Easily.

And, we can too, if we just stop trying to change the conditions of our lives and our kids lives in order to allow ourselves to be happy.

And instead, we start allowing ourselves to be happy, right here, right now. With exactly what’s going on NOW.

This might sound contrary to what I help people with. I help people to improve their kids/teens ADD, ADHD, etc through natural means. Doesn’t that mean I’m trying to change the conditions to help them (and myself) to be happier?

Well, if I’m completely honest. I have felt this at times. If I could just help my son stop freaking out, I would feel better and he’d feel better. Well, that approach doesn’t always work so well. There’s a lot of resistance in that approach (trying + pushing for a result I’m hoping for…) which means more work and less feeling and experiencing the outcome I was hoping for.

However, when I shifted my thinking to, I can feel in my heart that this particular “healing” step would be an awesome way to help me + my sons tap into who they really are. And, even though I can feel something that tells me there’s more possible for them, they are still awesome boys who I’m feeling content with. I just have this feeling inside that’s telling me to take this next step.

Loving and appreciating your kids (and yourself) where you’re at, means you get to feel happy now. You’re not needing the conditions to change to feel good. You’re still thriving under what some might call “less desirable conditions”.

Just like those succulent plants I’ve been so darn attracted to.

By the way, when you experience this (feeling content with where you’re at), if there is another action that could help you + your kids feel even better, well, then it comes through, it shows itself. Because you’re in a state of appreciating.

And I’ll tell you what… It doesn’t feel like pushing or forcing, it just feels “right”. Like the next logical step. The next step toward even more freedom and good feelings for you and your kids.

And this my friend comes from allowing ourselves to find what is good about where we’re at now. And then, feeling good about being in that place.

It’s about thriving unconditionally. Just like those succulent plants.

Blessings! Here’s to ALL of us learning and relearning this lesson over and over. In every aspect of our lives.

Rock on mamas (and papas), I’m with you in spirit!

xo,

Andrea

PS  Looking for ways to appreciate your kids where they’re at now? If you start doing more things (each day) that feel good to YOU.  A walk, a hike, a nap, meditate, paint, dance, watch an uplifting movie, spend time with friends that LIFT your spirits.  Doing what feels good to YOU allows you to shift your energy and focus to that which feels lighter, brighter and more relaxed.  Then, when you turn your attention to your kids, you show up (more easily) in a state of appreciating them.  From here, you take ONLY the actions that feel good to take to “help” them…

PPS  I have a fr*eebie audio that shares 3 of the steps I took to help my sons clear from autism.  If you’re feelin’ it, here’s the link.