I was jogging yesterday and my bra strap came undone.  One strap detached completely from my bra.

I then found myself continuing to jog because I knew I wanted to keep moving AND the last time this happened I had to hide behind bushes and take my shirt off to fix it.

I wasn’t in the mood to take my shirt off and besides, I wasn’t seeing a good spot to do so, that felt private enough.

So, I had a choice, keep jogging and ignore the strap or keep trying to fix it as I jogged.

Here’s the the thing:

Jogging is something I do often to relax myself. To clear my thinking, to reset my thinking, to refocus on what feels good instead of being caught up in distracting thoughts that can weigh me down.

So, by trying to fix my bra for several minutes, I was not focused at all on focusing my thoughts on things that felt good. On looking around at nature. At feeling how nice the day felt- the light breeze, the warmth…

I then realized this was a perfect example of what I’d been doing with my thinking lately.

I was choosing to focus on “fixing something” taking care of something.  Getting cr@p done. And I was focusing on things I didn’t like.

And, in doing so, I wasn’t feeling as good.

My energy was ok, but, I was beginning to act annoyed with people around me- especially my family.

Sure, they were doing things I didn’t like, but, truth be told, when I focus my thinking on things that feel good, relax myself into alignment, then when my family does things I don’t like, I can take a step back and see things differently.

I can see that whatever is happening is not that big of a deal.

I understand often why it’s happening and I can bypass drama. (not always, but often, definitely more often than when I’m slightly stressed!)

So, my bra strap coming undone showed me a glimpse of how I’d been temporarily showing up in my life.

Distracted by something that I thought needed to be taken care of, changed, fixed.

So, I let go.

I let one bra strap be completely disconnected from my bra while one breast hung lower and flapped under my t-shirt while I jogged.

And, at first it was distracting. It felt goofy.  I didn’t like it.

Then, I forgot about it.

I began to look around. Take in nature and the trees.

I started to think about things that helped to raise my energy and vibration. I began thinking about things that felt better to focus on.

I ended the jog with my regular stretches having forgotten about the detached bra strap and the uncomfortableness of having only one breast supported.

Why do I share this?

Because we ALL have times when we can focus on what’s in front of us that doesn’t feel good and it’s real easy to keep our focus there.

Be it kids or teens that are having difficulties.

You and your partner or spouse having a tricky time parenting.

You feeling cruddy.

Whatever it may be, it’s easy to let the thing that’s right in front of you distract you and take all or most of your attention.

However, when you do this, you give this situation more power. More energy.

And, it grows.

It grows into something that feels harder to move past.

It grows into something that feels worse.

And, quite often becomes worse.

So what do you do when you have something you don’t like that’s happening with your kids or yourself, and it’s undeniably happening day in and day out- or at least quite often?

You try your damnedest to look past it.

You pull out ALL of your focus and start looking at other things that feel better.

You focus your thinking on what is good right now. Things that bring you relief.

Things that feel better to think about.

Things that feel better to do.

I could have spent my entire time jogging focusing on my stupid uncomfortable bra strap and flapping breast, and I wouldn’t have noticed anything that was good around me.

And I would have wasted my entire jog fixated on the problem- my detached bra strap and trying to fix it.

By not focusing on it, I felt better.

Completely better.

The situation hadn’t change.

Just my focus had.

And, as a consequence, I felt pretty darn good after jogging.

And, because I felt good, when I then sat down to work for the day, things flowed well.

When I interacted with my kids, I felt pretty good and treated them accordingly.

When we feel good we align with people and situations that feel pretty good.

When we feel bad, we align with people and things that feel pretty bad.

So, when you have a situation that feels troublesome and keep most of your attention on it, you actually call more crappy emotions in, and you’re feeding it more fuel to grow.

To grow into a bigger problem.

So, if you’re willing, why not experiment with looking the other way.

Focusing on something that feels better.

It doesn’t mean you never address what’s happening that you don’t like.

It just means you address it later- or perhaps MUCH later, when you feel good and higher level, inspiring ideas come to you to act on.

After all, any idea that comes to you when you feel frustrated or upset are ideas that will weigh you down more and tend to complicate your life and often the situation you’re seeking to move past.

So, my wonderful moms who love their kids to the sun and back, why not try NOT focusing on the “issues” and specifically refocusing on things that feel better?

I promise your life and your kids’ lives will only benefit significantly from this!

Yes, I promise.

But don’t take my word for it.

See for yourself.

Have fun, feeling good!

Blessings + Rock on!

xo,

Andrea

PS Lets talk about possibilities.  The possibility that you can feel better and your kids can be doing great!  If this sounds intriguing and you’re cool with an unconventional approach to helping this happen, then you just might like my book, it may really help you in this area. You can grab a copy here. (Scroll down to the bottom of the page)  Or, download the first two chapters for free to check it out!

=)

For Moms Who Are “Doers”, Strivers, Accomplishers…

by Andrea Anderson on April 24, 2018

So often I’ve found myself working toward something.

When things were at their worst for my sons, I was working toward moving past the crap they were experiencing (and I was too!)

As things improved, I felt better, however my focus stayed on what else I could do to help them.

Good, right?

Well, not exactly.

Great I had a sense there was MORE for them.

Great, I kept going.

Moving forward.

Sorting out our next step.

Trying something new.

A new way to think.

New supplements.

A new healing approach.

Letting go of sabotaging habits and thinking…

However, I forgot something along the way.

I forgot that These are the Good Ol’ Days.

Right now, is a time that will never be again.

Yesterday is a time that will never be again.

5 years ago is a time that will never be again.

A minute ago, will never be again.

When my younger son was going to physical therapy at age 2 1/2 to help him learn to walk, it didn’t feel like the good ol’ days.

As a matter of fact, I had a baby calendar up on a bulletin board.

The type of calendar that helps you to keep track of your child’s milestones.  The progress they make each month.

When they first walk, talk, etc…

I took mine down.

I didn’t want to think about how far “off” my child seemed.

I had to focus on helping him.

Helping them.

And, I certainly wasn’t celebrating that time in my life as being the good ol days.

On the contrary, to say the least.

Around the age of 2 1/2 years, my son, instead of walking, would skooch around.

It was a way of moving around for him.

See, he neither walked yet, nor crawled. Instead he skooched on his butt, using his hands and feet to push him forward.

I’ve noticed other kids on the spectrum doing this as well, by the way.

It’s movement their body uses to compensate for the toxins/metals that are blocking the regular brain pathways that would have them crawling and walking in a typical fashion.

Anyhow, at the time when my son skooched, I sometimes felt bad, especially in the presence of normally progressing toddlers.  I felt like somehow he wasn’t measuring up to what he “should be doing”.

However NOW, when I think back to that time, I think of my son skooching and it brings a smile to my face.

I light up.

And, I feel warm and comfortable inside.

I LOVE that he skooched.

I feel ok with it.

Maybe it’s because he and his brother are doing well now, so, it’s easier to feel good.

Or maybe it’s because I’ve learned how to appreciate them more.

Or maybe, it’s my ability to zoom out from a situation and see it from afar, instead of being caught up in the chaos of it. (Ok, mostly able to do this anyway, wink, wink!)

All of these skills I’ve acquired from being a mom of kids on the spectrum, so, um, thank you to my boys. Big Time!

Anyhow, circling back to my story.

Time creates enough space between you and what you struggled with in the past, to really show you, what you struggled with, was never as big of a problem as you thought it was.

These are your GOOD Ol’ Days.

Right now.

Right now, I feel ok with my sons’ past.

And, it’s because all the shit I thought was a BIG ISSUE back then wasn’t such a big issue at all.

I made them all issues, by treating them like issues.

Thinking about them like they were issues.

Problems to be solved.

Boys to be fixed.

What if I just helped them move forward, but, relaxed and enjoyed them too?

I eventually did this, but, it took time.

And, now, I still forget at times that I don’t always need to be working toward something.

I can just be here.

Right now, seeing what’s pretty damn cool about my life.

About my boys.

About my husband.

About all of it.

These are my good ol’ days.

My sons turned me onto a song that reminded me of all of this.

I now find myself playing it often.  Sometimes over and over.

I do that with songs I like.

Play them over and over.

I suppose I don’t want those good thoughts and feelings to end.

If you want, sit back, close your eyes and have a listen. Who knows, you may even find yourself dancing.

Either way, I welcome you to find inspiration in enjoying your son or daughter, right now, no matter what they’re in the midst of, because someday, you’ll wish you enjoyed them more.

Someday, you’ll see more clearly, they are already OK.

Here’s to feeling that “ok-ness” NOW!

Blessings my soft-hearted, warrior moms!

xo,

Andrea

And, here’s that song!

Good Ol’ Days- Kesha + Macklemore

PS  If you want help feeling more “ok” with where you’re kid is at now, while taking peaceful steps to help them keep clearing from their symptoms, I have a book that may help. Grab a copy here. Or, download the first 2 chapters for free.

#KidsDoingWell

#ADHDandAutismIsReversible

#GetYourLifeBack