She Left This Earth, But Left Me With These Thoughts

by Andrea Anderson on May 17, 2016

Family Walking on Beach-Hazy Day

We do NOT need to make ourselves as busy as we think.

Its our choice to be busy.

We often think it’s happening to us, things to take care of for the family, for our kids, for the house, our business or work, or volunteer activities, our self growth work…

We could have said no.  We could even drop the ball.  We could change our minds.  We could let go and do less.

But, often we don’t.

Why?

Because it’s ingrained in each and everyone of us, that doing is better than BEING.

That being is lazy and selfish.

That “lazy” people don’t do much.

And the “successful” people are busy gettin’ shit done.

Truth be told.  Yes, some “successful” people are getting shit done.  (And, by the way, many are miserable!)

But, there are just as many “unsuccessful” people being busy too.  Spinning their wheels not making much of a difference in their lives or getting anywhere accept creating more busy-ness.

And, there are many successful people who “arrived” by taking an easy route.  A less busy route.  A more relaxed route.

So, there really is more than one way to do this “successful” thing.  (By the way, you can define success for yourself, however I’m referring to it as our kids and us THRIVING- together!)

Now, I’m not suggesting you do absolutely nothing ever.  Although it would make for an interesting experiment…

However, I am suggesting YOU DO LESS.

Why?

Because busy-ness is really just a drive to make yourself and your kids OK.   Sometimes it’s even to look good.  To be accepted.  To receive accolades.  Good mom comments.  Received well by others…To be viewed as ok in our culture.  To do what we somehow think is the “right” thing.

And really you and your kids are ok already.  You’re not broken.  You don’t need to fix a thing.

There may be some areas you notice feel off. But, remember, you’re all still ok.  And, not being perfect is part of our human experience.  If we keep striving to improve something for our kids and us, we miss the boat in this lifetime.

What is that boat?

Being present with our kids.  Having fun with them just as they are right now.  Fits, behaviors, maybe only doing mediocre in school or stinky in school.  Quite and shy.  Afraid to speak up.  Not so confident.

Loving them completely AND accepting them completely, right now, in the present. Not when you help them clear of whatever current ‘problem’ concerns you.

We ALL love our kids.  That’s why you’re here reading this blog.  You care.

So, do yourself and your kids a GIANT favor.

Take a break from striving and fixing.  And, instead, spend time together.  Beautiful, fun time together.  Or, just quiet relaxing time together. Do this often.  Over an over.

This can be MORE powerful than vitamins, natural remedies, special food, (which as you know, I subscribe to all of it!)…  However, time together allows you both to feel loved.

And love, well, that’s what it’s all about really.

I know a family who lost a child recently.  I wrote something on the Huffington Post blog.  It’s all about letting go of our “to do’s” and being together instead.

It’s a quick read.  And, it may inspire you to let go and enjoy your kids more.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-anderson2/kids-love-parenting-how_b_9773062.html

Here’s to allowing life to be easy for our kids + us too!

xo,

Andrea!

PS  If you resonate with my somewhat unconventional approach to improving your kids symptoms + you’d like to help your kids (but in an easier, more mindful way), then you might like my free audio, 3 powerful steps I took to begin to improve my sons’ ASD symptoms.

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Family running on beach smiling

Very often we’re looking for a way to make things feel better for our kids.  To “fix” something that feels like a “problem” for them.

Sometimes it school.

Sometimes it’s with their friends.

Sometimes it’s with the way they act.

How well they listen.

How reactive they get.

How good they feel about themselves.

On + on + on it goes.

We want our kids to be ok.  

To feel good.  

To THRIVE.

For starters, I will say this again + again, to make sure this seed is planted:  Your kids are already ok.  No matter what the heck is going on for them.

Breathe that one in for a minute.

Now, what else can you do?

Go back to the basics.

Check in with yourself + your thinking.

Did you already decide your son or daughter will move past this ‘issue’ or are you thinking they’re stuck?

You MUST DECIDE they will move past it, or yes, you will both remain stuck, in a holding pattern.

 

Next, check in with how they’re eating these days.

Did they start to eat lots of junk food again. Food with chemicals and additives?

Or maybe you haven’t started helping them to clean up their eating.  That’s ok.

Food affects our moods.  How we act + react.

Cleaner more natural food = calmer, more wholesome thoughts + behaviors.

I wrote a short article on this topic for the Natural Nutmeg. If you want to know what foods will help your kids (and you) to decrease some of the behavior struggles, anxiety, big reactions check out the article.

The article also explains what type of thoughts mom will want to connect with more to help move past your current struggles.

Here it is (an easy short read, but helpful.)

Be well my beautiful moms.

Sending you loving energy to be strong yet open.

xo,

Andrea

PS Resonate with anything I said + want to learn more unconventional ways to support your kids feeling + being their best? You’re welcome to a free audio that I created to help with that.